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For years
The eating disorder
Has been my shield
Blocking out
Anger
Disappointment
Sadness
Fear
It has made me numb
To all that hurts
But in blocking the darkness
It has filtered the light
It has been too long since
I have truly been
Happy
Enthusiastic
Relaxed
At peace
I want those sensations back
I want to remember
What those words mean
But I am afraid
Because I know that
Life is not always carefree
The sky is not always sunny
And sometimes going back
To that safe, familiar existence
Will seem easier than living
But I will fight
I won't give in
I am stronger than that
I deserve better than that
I have talents to share
And a story to tell
And I will not hide forever.
Michele Crisafulli, July 23, 2001
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